Hi , Jung-eun ! I am here~ Hun-jae! =_=;
I am feeling happy to imagine you smiling in your memory for a while, looking back upon the happiness, sadness, pleasure, anger of last year. :)
Now I don’t feel new in our network as before. Being an idle representative sysop, I felt I have a quite sense of responsibility and I couldn’t behave myself free as before. For the reasons started above, When I personally feel I was a little–no, much indifferent to the others, I am irritated, lonely, uncontrollable.
I have been off-line condition for some days on account of anger about that itself–now I couldn’t receive beautiful feelings like before from many people I knew. …..It was also my idle fault. I was in my only thought what friends maybe leave in spite of my full effort.
Yesterday, I met with a sad affair and cry out. I’ll have my eyes swollen, my voice hoarse. As I was thinking about this and that for the affair, it is too welcome morning-letter of you. Frankly, my fault may have started since I thought by my self nobody will send to me a private, cordial letter of emotion OR a letter of advice. (Excited, I don’t know what I am saying but I think you can know my final intention without knowing why.)
The shockest thing of last year is she(ID:short-rapids 단여울) leaving my side. –Not only my side but also our side. It was an incredible shork. however, I couldn’t talk about it to our club members or ordinary people because of having become weak. I don’t know anything that I don’t know was happened , but I had to study the pleasure of them. ‘Somehow I ought not to talk to others.’, ‘Shall I try to communicate her by myself?’ An autosuggestion like these… Even the matter of him (ID:penguin) , being dislike me, or whatever cause her to stop using Hitel, I am her (ID:short-rapids) close friend ! I regret highly having done nothing.
I am very angry about my emotion that she(ID:small-spring-water 작은샘물) is not my friend any longer. At one time am I her close friend. however, it seems that now she doesn’t use hitel often, (Compared with before) I don’t know even how she is, what she like now. Instead of these things maybe I got Kiri (a new club) , but there are a saying “Good and evil are interwoven”. I feel only something is missing.
This time I want to go to regular meeting in Kwang-Ju on the one hand and I don’t want to on the other. Now Many people I know in my memory are being forgotten slowly, and everyone is going in their own way. If I who is worthless! join on the meet, what would happen? It is bothering me endless that abnormal and foolish thoughts such as ‘What a sight that a poor student like I is pushing myself forward !’. hu! hu! … It is mere child’s play for a person to go mad. These various, complex thoughts and memory are still letting me cry. haha.
In my not ordered, memories recolletions and grieves I don’t know how to write this letter any more. I wish you will lead a more happy life, you will not forget me in coming new year.
Happy new year!
With best wishes,